A World Without Strangers
plus a new vocabulary word!
Greetings Enthusiast,
This note comes from the road. I’m traveling the world with my family this year, moving from place to place, meeting people we didn’t know yesterday and somehow already care about. It’s the World Joy Project! (You can catch up on what it’s all about here)
First: I really need to tell you about everything we experienced and learned and all the amazing folks I met in the Philippines. Wow. Aaaaa! Impossible! I can, though, at the very least, share a few joyful glimpses.
After a truly magical time in Malaysia (which you can read about here via this handy link!), I was scheduled to lead events on joyful leadership for entrepreneurs in the Philippines with leaders in Cebu and Manila.
Now … a reminder:
my topic is joy.
A little context on the communities where I was to be discussing joy:
Just a few months ago …
a 6.9 earthquake struck off the northern coast of Cebu. It was one of the deadliest quakes in the Philippines in over a decade, killing dozens, injuring hundreds, and damaging or destroying many homes and buildings.
weeks of aftershocks.
extreme flooding that displaced some families and tested already-stretched communities.
Add to that the ordinary weight of everyday life, ongoing recovery, and the background hum of political tension being navigated daily by a group of creative, kind, and resilient leaders.
This was the place where I was going to talk about …. joy.
What I discovered in both Cebu and Manila was not a lack of joy. These were not rooms full of fear or distance, but extreme wisdom and warmth. (And not just the warmth of the weather here which is much different from the current weather back home in Tennessee) My new friends in the Philippines have a strength and hospitality that is very much rooted in joy. A joyful strength they’d show me and teach me over and over again.
Let me share with you a word:
A new friend shared with me the word bayanihan. It’s a Filipino word that speaks to shared effort and collective care. It’s about how when something is heavy, no one is meant to carry it alone. How community is family, especially when things are hard.
I felt it everywhere.
Children kept calling me ‘Uncle Brad’.
They kept calling my wife ‘Auntie Kristi’.
It was a constant shouting of ‘Uncle! Uncle!’ across rooms and hotel lobbies. Children I barely knew and yet it’s how they see the world. You are family, until proven otherwise, I guess. Assumed family. You belong here. You’re one of us, Uncle.
Traditionally, bayanihan is illustrated by a whole community lifting a house together and moving it. This isn’t done because they were asked or paid, but because that’s what you do when someone belongs to you. Over time, the word has come to have a broader meaning and application for any kind of communal assistance. As explained to me (and shown to me), it is help offered and hospitality granted. Its doors opened and hands on hearts and meals shared. It’s a joyful strength that comes not from individual resilience, but from togetherness.
I keep wondering what would happen if the word stranger slowly stopped working.
Like, what if we just could just slowly erase it from our vocabularly. No more strangers. A world without strangers. The truth is, we already know how temporary that word can be … stranger.
Think about moments when it disappears.
After a car accident, when everyone stands on the shoulder together, talking in softer voices than usual and hugging people they just met. During a power outage, when neighbors step outside with flashlights and shrugs. In hospital waiting rooms or at funerals, where nobody explains much because nobody needs to.
In these moments, there are no strangers. No one is a stragner. Everyone is just human. And that seems to be enough.
Meme culture has allowed an avalanche of new words and phrases to enter our collective vocabulary worldwide (I must inform you all that 6 - 7 is very much alive here in this part of the globe, too. Sigh.) If it’s possible for us to so rapidly add words to our language, surely we can work together to erase other words?
The word stranger fades during difficult times, but it also fades during the best of times, too.
When people laugh together in a long line.
When a sunset catches everyone off guard at the same time.
When a room full of people sing the same lyric and forget, briefly, who came to the concert with whom. No introductions. No categories. Just us.
Which makes me wonder if a world without strangers isn’t just something we can be headed toward creating, but something we can already visit. We just don’t stay there very long.
The word stranger is convenient. It helps us move quickly. It lets us decide who deserves our attention and who does not. It gives fear an efficient shortcut.
There’s a cheat code, though. A weapon to weaken the powers of division and barriers and certainty and control: Curiosity.
Curiosity slows things down. Curiosity says: I wonder what their day has been like. I wonder what they’re carrying. Joyful curiosity leads to lovely places and man oh man do we need it.
In a world without strangers, the tired cashier isn’t invisible. They are simply tired. The kid melting down in the store isn’t a brat. They are a small human learning something difficult in public … which is where a lot of challenging learning happens.
The person you disagree with is still someone who once needed help tying their shoes. Still someone who has laughed uncontrollably at something dumb. Still someone with a soft spot they probably don’t talk about.
This is not about pretending everyone is safe or kind or easy.
Boundaries matter. Wisdom matters. This is, though, about resisting the urge to shut down completely and no longer allow the rich well of amazing human beings in this world to be part of your shared world.
I’m learning that the opposite of stranger is not necessarily friend… it’s neighbor. Neighbors don’t have to agree on everything, but they do decide to treat the shared space between them with a little extra care. A world without strangers is possible. It just requires a certain kind of care. There is a joyful world of connection available to us always if we choose courage, compassion, and creativity.
So, here’s a small experiment for this Enthusiast community. You are a compassionate, creative little army. Today, just once, try acting as if the person in front of you is not a stranger. As if they are simply someone dear you have not met yet. A slightly longer pause. A bit more patience. A kindness so small it feels silly. But maybe if we practice, we’ll notice that the world has been ready for this all along.
No strangers. Just people moving through the same moment. Together.
Does this project speak to you?!?
* Share a piece of joy!
If you know a child, a classroom full of children, or anyone in any part of the world who could draw, write, or show what joy looks like to them, I’d love to include it. Submit here.
* Help carry the project forward!
Becoming a paid subscriber directly supports our travel, the storytelling, and the sharing of these moments along the way. You can also buy me a coffee here. Your support has been HUGE in continuing to make this journey possible.
*Pass it on!
If this made you think of someone, send it to them. Joy travels best that way.
Brad, we know well what it means to uproot for a year and see what joys, challenges, and learning comes. Stoked for you all and excited to track your journey. You are not alone. Come what may, your community is with you!
Creative challenge accepted.