DEAR SANTA,

A wish for all the grownups of the world

Dear Santa,

We go way back.
You’ve been there for me so consistently and generously.
(Except, of course, for the years I asked for a pony, a trampoline, and a Rivian).
I understand, though. Sometimes shipping is delayed.

I want to begin with an apology.
On the few occasions we have actually met in person,
it was in a crowded mall, I was seated on your lap, and I was crying. Uncontrollably.
Through my tears I never really got to tell you what I want.
Please forgive. I was under a lot of pressure.

But this year, Santa …
I know *exactly* what I want.

So, here it goes. It’s not more stuff. I have reached a stage in life where my stuff has begun acquiring its own stuff.

No, this wish is bigger. Improbable, even.
Frankly, it’s the kind of request that only a man with a team of flying livestock could reasonably deliver.

Santa, I would like you to give grownups ...
…all grownups….
especially …certain… grownups …
the same emotional education we work so hard to instill in a children, but seem to have forgotten we desperately need, too.

Yes.
SEL for grownups.
That is my wish.

Teach all grownups everywhere to…

• use our words instead of honking our horns.

• use our words, but not those words.

• regulate screen time with timers, rules, stickers, and a laminated chart that gently imply we cannot be trusted

• share our toys, our credit, our power, our billions (also… please give us billions), and our wifi password (even if its super long and emotionally revealing)

• disagree without making the other person into an abstract villian we wrestle in our head while brushing our teeth

• say “i’m sorry” without immediately adding “but they started it”

• tell the truth even when it’s slightly inconvenient, embarrasing, or contradicts the version of events we invented during the car ride over

• stop pitching fits in public, in private, in grocery store aisles, or in the group text.

• sit in a circle, listen, and take turns talking

• leave the room when cable news is on and go play outside

I’ve visited many classrooms this year and came away full of hope for humanity. The young people have shown me what compassion looks like. What pure creativity looks like. What goodness looks like.

I’ve also done lots of corporate work this year, Santa, and …
well …
let’s just say the children are ahead.

Children seem to be spending their earliest years mastering the thoughtful and vital “soft” skills of being a person. This hard world could use more of it. Somewhere along the way, we adults started treating decency and kindness like they’re extra credit instead of the whole assignment.

So that’s it.
My christmas wish: universal emotional maturity.
You can do that, right? By Christmas morning? Wrapped in wonder?
Doesn’t have to be fancy. You can just ball it up in tissue paper. That’s fine, too.

I’ve witnessed in classrooms and libraries and bookstore storytimes that lots of people are working hard to raise up a generation who understands feelings aren’t flaws, mistakes are excellent teachers, sharing actually feels good, and gentless is not a limited resource but a renewable one.

We can’t let it stop with children. It’s not just early education that needs it. It’s us grownups too. Myself included.

We need it.

I believe, Santa. Look for the milk and cookies I left for you on the fireplace.
And, just in case you could use a little childlike social-emotional boost yourself, I also left a juice box.

Warmly,
a grownup who still believes,
is still learning,
and would also be okay with a pony and a Rivian

Thanks for reading, friend. Feel free to add your Christmas wish in the comments. What’s on your list?!?

Help by sharing The Enthusiast with people you care about!

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Empathy Is Dangerous. Let’s Be Dangerous.
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