The Doubting Hero
Finding threads of purpose within uncertainty
I was shocked to learn he didn’t have it all figured out.
You’ve probably had moments similar to this. Someone you’ve looked up to or admired does something and then you realize — oh, they’re human.
It can happen when we’re kids and see a teacher or coach misspell a word.
It can happen when you grow up and realize all the adults in your life were really just former kids like you trying to figure things out.
It can happen when you find a note in the Fred Rogers archives of your hero questioning everything, including his impact or ability to make a difference.
It’s a feeling I know well.
Am I good enough? Does any of this even matter? Am I on the right path?
Joanne Rogers was many things: accomplished pianist, philanthropist, fundraiser, parent, and grandparent. She was also the wife of Fred Rogers. Also, she was the woman who stood up and interrupted my talk at the Fred Rogers Institute in Latrobe, PA, in May 2017.
I was sharing the impact of Fred’s work on my work when a woman stood up, cupped her hands together, and shouted. It was mostly inaudible from the stage, but I could tell from the audience’s response that it was positive. Whew. What I did not realize until later was that this woman was none other than Mrs. Rogers.
We got to have a moment afterward. We hugged. She booped my nose. She gave me grandmotherly encouragement. It was magic.
The best, though, was getting to connect more over the years. Super funny. Incredibly fun. Deeply wise. Though she passed away in 2021, she’s a bright light whose memory continues to brighten the path for many.
In asking her how Fred had it all figured out, she was always quick to remark that, actually, he didn’t. Fred had a lot of uncertainty along the way.
Fred explored ministry, but that wasn’t the exact right fit.
Fred explored traditional television, but that wasn’t it.
Fred explored opera and education and programming for adults and on and on and on, but none of those were it.
It was Fred’s seminary professor, Dr. William Orr, who introduced him to a new way of looking at his life path: the guided drift.
The idea of the guided drift was about trying to “live a life that was open to change and serendipity, that embraced the possibilities of life rather than the confines of a rigid set of rules” This meant being “guided by our principles, but also free to embrace the flow of life”.
This idea of looking at life as a guided drift was transformative for me.
It’s something I share often with young twenty-somethings who feel the pressure of having to have it all figured out. What a gift this mindset would’ve been for me early on as I hopped from job to job. I changed my major several times in college. I went from creating music to working in news to advertising to wherever else I could find work that felt right. Each job transition felt like a mistake I’d made instead of the growing, guided drift I was part of.
One could easily look now at Fred’s body of work and make the mistake of thinking he had it all figured out. He seemed to move from dot to dot to dot, without worry and with total confidence that it was the right move. The truth, as always, is more complex. Maxwell King, in his autobiography The Good Neighbor, details this and even mentions Fred’s 'guided drift’ principle. He had doubts. He had worries.
He didn’t have it all figured out, but he did have principles.
Those principles helped point him in the proper direction. As Fred wrote in his note from the archives, ‘It wasn’t easy, but it was good.’
Where are you on the journey?
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Brad,
You are the modern-day Mr. Rogers, and I'm so grateful that you exist. I needed to visit with Mr. Rogers today and you made that happen.
Guided drift kind of sums up my life so far. And such beautiful places life has drifted to as an invisible energy guides me...
Thanks for writing this piece Brad @bradmontague