I love this post today, thank you for writing it. Empathy is needed more than ever, and we need to keep talking about it. As a teacher (meditation and energy work) I talk about it with students. As an artist I have been thinking about empathy while painting.
We know that the bullies repeat lies over and over in order to make them true, like casting a nasty spell. Let's all do our version of that from a place of love and empathy.
Kris! Thank you. Thank you SO much. I really love the way you put this. Repeating love and empathy, over and over, like casting a counter spell against all the noise and nonsense! Exactly. I especially am inspired by the way you're weaving this into your teaching and your art. So powerful and we so need your work. Thank you for being you!
I've been having some medical problems lately and what's amazing is that the people who have shown kindness and support aren't always the people I thought would. I have great coworkers, but also some customers have been so kind. "I haven't seen you in a while," they say. Or, "You were missed." Unexpected empathy! 💓 Wonderful! You never know what people are going through and dealing with. Acknowledge that!
Jennifer, thank you. Your stories here remind me how kindness really does swoop in from unexpected places and can mean everything. I am so grateful you've experienced this and I know you're reflecting it back in beautiful ways. I hope you continue to get the care and support you need as you navigate this season. Wishing you strength and more of those small, wonderful moments of goodness!
Goodness. Shouldn’t we all have more empathy? I find myself sometimes thinking very black and white about things, situations, or people. I wish I wouldn’t. I get caught up min my own selfish thoughts and actions and forget that we’re all human and God’s creation. Thank you for the reminder. I’ll do better.
Nicole! Your kind words mean so much. So does your example. Grateful for you and your family. I think we all struggle with this. It's so easy to get caught in our own perspective. Recognizing it and working on it is something I have to work to keep in check. Learning, growing and doing our best -- or at least trying! So grateful for your heart and your honesty. WITH YOU!
What a beautiful reminder you are Brad, of who we know our American neighbours to be! While it's true many Canadians are angered to be vilified and targeted by the POTUS, what we truly are is brokenhearted to witness the suffering you are now facing. We send you light and love and hope for a turnaround soon.
This means so much, Lorian. I wish we could sit at a Tim Horton's over some coffee today! Your words are a beautiful reminder of the deep kindness and connection that exists beyond the yuck of politics. Light, love, and hope are exactly what we need more of and that's something I've always felt from my Canadian pals. Some of my all-time favorite visits with educators and students have happened in Canadian schools. I've been repeatedly so inspired and encouraged. (Plus I'm a longtime fan of all things Degrassi haha) Grateful for you!!!
Yes, dear Brad, a Timmy’s Boston Cream would help, temporarily, at least :) Canadians often say we’re the same as Americans, in fundamental ways, though we wouldn’t say we’re ‘the greatest country in the world’ as we see braggadocio as poor form. We love you, but we are firm on 51st Never, currently being embroidered on all our thermal underwear. Spring may be on the way, but Winter Is Coming. Luckily, we tolerate cold very well.
1. compassion...very similar, yes? nearly every religion has the need/importance of compassion as a founding tenet.
2. i schedule in my "reminders" every 2-3 weeks on my calendar "change the narrative. they just might be right". reminder to get outside one's OWN head.
Erin. YES YES YES! Compassion and empathy are so closely tied and interwoven into the core of so many belief systems for a reason. I'm especially moved by how compassion brings with it a desire to act on our care, to not just sit there. It's why your scheduled reminders to shift perspective are a truly powerful practice that can change everything. I definitely now how easy it is to get stuck in our own narratives. Making space for possibility that we might be wrong and someone else might be on the right track ... whew. That's wisdom. That's also something that puts empathy into practice in a way that transforms. SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU
Now I’m imagining the fake story about Mr. Rogers wearing cardigans to cover his tattoo sleeves but instead using the visual as a representation of dangerous empathy.
The more I think about this, the more I recognize that empathy isn’t dangerous to people, but to dehumanizing ideologies. And I’m all for that.
Ryan. I got to spend time with some of your most recent writing and am in love. SO grateful for your creative compassionate spirit. You're up to wonderful things and are a brilliant mind, friend. Feels like dangerous empathy is something worth exploring and so grateful and not surprised you're on board. Not dangerous to people, of course, but to the forces that thrive on dehumanization! YES. Mr. Rogers, armed with empathy like a full-sleeve tattoo, quietly dismantling harmful ideologies one cardigan at a time. I love it. Super grateful for your brain and heart, as always.
So refreshing. And I know it would probably be considered kindness rather than empathy, but twice now when visiting my physio I have encountered people who needed help with opening the door, I am probably 40 years older than the gentleman and 50 years older than the young woman, but like many people I have seen in the past they would let them struggle. Always a pleasure Brad.
Sally, I love this. Whether we call it kindness, empathy, or just being a decent human, the heart of it is the same. Seeing someone in need and choosing to help seems so simple, but we simple humans can sure make things complex quickly. Grateful for your heart and your example. Small gestures add up in ways we may never see. Thanks for being so dangerous.
I've always loved your stuff, but I really love seeing you stand up against the dumpster fire that has been the past few weeks/months. Thanks for always reminding us of the goodness we each are capable of and can spread.
It shocks me that people are saying Empathy is dangerous. This makes me sad. It also encourages me to continue to show up authentically and empathetically. I will continue to teach my children (though more young adults) this as well. Is spreading empathy a quiet movement or do we need to get as loud as the critics? I do not know what the right answer is.
It is shocking, isn’t it? But I love your response: to keep showing up, to keep teaching it, to keep choosing empathy anyway. Your quesiton is one I'm wrestling with too. I don't know the definite answer, but I think it’s both a quiet movement and one that needs voices willing to be loud when necessary. Maybe it’s about knowing when to whisper and when to roar. Either way, I’m so grateful we're in this together.
Yes, thank you for sharing Mark. I’m familiar with this and glad you included in comments here. Unfortunately there’s a fresh batch of books and articles on their way inviting people to look out for ‘toxic empathy’ and ‘the sin of empathy’. Many seem to be welcoming these suspicious views of compassion and care because it allows them a permission slip to disengage from seeing the humanity of people different than them or engage in activities that further divides between them and those deemed unworthy of empathy.
I do get that empathy, like anything, can be misapplied. But the solution isn’t to be suspicious of care. It’s to practice care well. (with wisdom and accountability) Some do seem to be seeking this in their conversations around this but many more seem to be eager for division. And that feels far more dangerous to me.
Sorry to hear about all that confusion Brad. What a sad twisting of the kinder natures of those poor people. I appreciate all the compassion you are spreading.
Enthusiatically with you on this. Grabbing a packet of Empathy Electrolytes for the journey ahead-1,200 mg connection , 5,000 mg understanding, 10,000 mg kindness, 15,000 mg listening with curiosity and care. Any flavor will do as long as its effort-vescent.
* a few side effects-may cause stronger relationships, improved communication, calm and peace, increased resilience, energy and creatvity.
Haha. The. Best. Thank you! Love that they’re effort-vescent (brilliant), and I’ll gladly take all the side effects. Here’s to stronger relationships, deeper connection, and a world where understanding isn’t in short supply. Day made with this comment haha Cheers!
I love that song! It's actually on a "HOPE PUNK" playlist I made connected to a previous post and I don't think I ever shared it! That's something I definitely need to do soon. I love the lyric you included here too. Simple, but vital reminder. Grateful you're here!
I love this post today, thank you for writing it. Empathy is needed more than ever, and we need to keep talking about it. As a teacher (meditation and energy work) I talk about it with students. As an artist I have been thinking about empathy while painting.
We know that the bullies repeat lies over and over in order to make them true, like casting a nasty spell. Let's all do our version of that from a place of love and empathy.
Your work is lovely, thanks for sharing it!
Kris! Thank you. Thank you SO much. I really love the way you put this. Repeating love and empathy, over and over, like casting a counter spell against all the noise and nonsense! Exactly. I especially am inspired by the way you're weaving this into your teaching and your art. So powerful and we so need your work. Thank you for being you!
I've been having some medical problems lately and what's amazing is that the people who have shown kindness and support aren't always the people I thought would. I have great coworkers, but also some customers have been so kind. "I haven't seen you in a while," they say. Or, "You were missed." Unexpected empathy! 💓 Wonderful! You never know what people are going through and dealing with. Acknowledge that!
Jennifer, thank you. Your stories here remind me how kindness really does swoop in from unexpected places and can mean everything. I am so grateful you've experienced this and I know you're reflecting it back in beautiful ways. I hope you continue to get the care and support you need as you navigate this season. Wishing you strength and more of those small, wonderful moments of goodness!
Goodness. Shouldn’t we all have more empathy? I find myself sometimes thinking very black and white about things, situations, or people. I wish I wouldn’t. I get caught up min my own selfish thoughts and actions and forget that we’re all human and God’s creation. Thank you for the reminder. I’ll do better.
Nicole! Your kind words mean so much. So does your example. Grateful for you and your family. I think we all struggle with this. It's so easy to get caught in our own perspective. Recognizing it and working on it is something I have to work to keep in check. Learning, growing and doing our best -- or at least trying! So grateful for your heart and your honesty. WITH YOU!
What a beautiful reminder you are Brad, of who we know our American neighbours to be! While it's true many Canadians are angered to be vilified and targeted by the POTUS, what we truly are is brokenhearted to witness the suffering you are now facing. We send you light and love and hope for a turnaround soon.
This means so much, Lorian. I wish we could sit at a Tim Horton's over some coffee today! Your words are a beautiful reminder of the deep kindness and connection that exists beyond the yuck of politics. Light, love, and hope are exactly what we need more of and that's something I've always felt from my Canadian pals. Some of my all-time favorite visits with educators and students have happened in Canadian schools. I've been repeatedly so inspired and encouraged. (Plus I'm a longtime fan of all things Degrassi haha) Grateful for you!!!
Yes, dear Brad, a Timmy’s Boston Cream would help, temporarily, at least :) Canadians often say we’re the same as Americans, in fundamental ways, though we wouldn’t say we’re ‘the greatest country in the world’ as we see braggadocio as poor form. We love you, but we are firm on 51st Never, currently being embroidered on all our thermal underwear. Spring may be on the way, but Winter Is Coming. Luckily, we tolerate cold very well.
1. compassion...very similar, yes? nearly every religion has the need/importance of compassion as a founding tenet.
2. i schedule in my "reminders" every 2-3 weeks on my calendar "change the narrative. they just might be right". reminder to get outside one's OWN head.
Erin. YES YES YES! Compassion and empathy are so closely tied and interwoven into the core of so many belief systems for a reason. I'm especially moved by how compassion brings with it a desire to act on our care, to not just sit there. It's why your scheduled reminders to shift perspective are a truly powerful practice that can change everything. I definitely now how easy it is to get stuck in our own narratives. Making space for possibility that we might be wrong and someone else might be on the right track ... whew. That's wisdom. That's also something that puts empathy into practice in a way that transforms. SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU
Now I’m imagining the fake story about Mr. Rogers wearing cardigans to cover his tattoo sleeves but instead using the visual as a representation of dangerous empathy.
The more I think about this, the more I recognize that empathy isn’t dangerous to people, but to dehumanizing ideologies. And I’m all for that.
Ryan. I got to spend time with some of your most recent writing and am in love. SO grateful for your creative compassionate spirit. You're up to wonderful things and are a brilliant mind, friend. Feels like dangerous empathy is something worth exploring and so grateful and not surprised you're on board. Not dangerous to people, of course, but to the forces that thrive on dehumanization! YES. Mr. Rogers, armed with empathy like a full-sleeve tattoo, quietly dismantling harmful ideologies one cardigan at a time. I love it. Super grateful for your brain and heart, as always.
So refreshing. And I know it would probably be considered kindness rather than empathy, but twice now when visiting my physio I have encountered people who needed help with opening the door, I am probably 40 years older than the gentleman and 50 years older than the young woman, but like many people I have seen in the past they would let them struggle. Always a pleasure Brad.
Sally, I love this. Whether we call it kindness, empathy, or just being a decent human, the heart of it is the same. Seeing someone in need and choosing to help seems so simple, but we simple humans can sure make things complex quickly. Grateful for your heart and your example. Small gestures add up in ways we may never see. Thanks for being so dangerous.
😂
I've always loved your stuff, but I really love seeing you stand up against the dumpster fire that has been the past few weeks/months. Thanks for always reminding us of the goodness we each are capable of and can spread.
Maryn, this truly means so much. Thank you. ❤️
It shocks me that people are saying Empathy is dangerous. This makes me sad. It also encourages me to continue to show up authentically and empathetically. I will continue to teach my children (though more young adults) this as well. Is spreading empathy a quiet movement or do we need to get as loud as the critics? I do not know what the right answer is.
It is shocking, isn’t it? But I love your response: to keep showing up, to keep teaching it, to keep choosing empathy anyway. Your quesiton is one I'm wrestling with too. I don't know the definite answer, but I think it’s both a quiet movement and one that needs voices willing to be loud when necessary. Maybe it’s about knowing when to whisper and when to roar. Either way, I’m so grateful we're in this together.
Something that might explain the (probably overblown) "Empathy is dangerous" meme (which I haven't come across in my own life btw) is mis-readings of books such as Paul Bloom's "Against Empathy". See first paragraphs of this review: https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/1/19/14266230/empathy-morality-ethics-psychology-compassion-paul-bloom
Yes, thank you for sharing Mark. I’m familiar with this and glad you included in comments here. Unfortunately there’s a fresh batch of books and articles on their way inviting people to look out for ‘toxic empathy’ and ‘the sin of empathy’. Many seem to be welcoming these suspicious views of compassion and care because it allows them a permission slip to disengage from seeing the humanity of people different than them or engage in activities that further divides between them and those deemed unworthy of empathy.
I do get that empathy, like anything, can be misapplied. But the solution isn’t to be suspicious of care. It’s to practice care well. (with wisdom and accountability) Some do seem to be seeking this in their conversations around this but many more seem to be eager for division. And that feels far more dangerous to me.
Sorry to hear about all that confusion Brad. What a sad twisting of the kinder natures of those poor people. I appreciate all the compassion you are spreading.
As always, this post is a balm to the heart! Thank you, Brad.
This community here means so much to me. So encouraged by you. Thanks for the kind words.
I hope this finds you doing well...and I hope empathy finds a place in all our hearts...
And also to YOU!!! Thank you friend
Enthusiatically with you on this. Grabbing a packet of Empathy Electrolytes for the journey ahead-1,200 mg connection , 5,000 mg understanding, 10,000 mg kindness, 15,000 mg listening with curiosity and care. Any flavor will do as long as its effort-vescent.
* a few side effects-may cause stronger relationships, improved communication, calm and peace, increased resilience, energy and creatvity.
Haha. The. Best. Thank you! Love that they’re effort-vescent (brilliant), and I’ll gladly take all the side effects. Here’s to stronger relationships, deeper connection, and a world where understanding isn’t in short supply. Day made with this comment haha Cheers!
Beautiful 😍 we must strive every day to be empathetic 😘
I’m in! Let’s do this!
The world needs more of this dangerous message! Keep it up, Brad!
Haha! YES! Glad to have fellow joy rebels for good like you in this with me!
This post reminded me of one of my favorite songs recently - Be More Kind by Frank Turner.
~in a world that has decided that’s it’s going to lose its mind, be more kind, my friend. Try to be more kind~
I love that song! It's actually on a "HOPE PUNK" playlist I made connected to a previous post and I don't think I ever shared it! That's something I definitely need to do soon. I love the lyric you included here too. Simple, but vital reminder. Grateful you're here!